The Simple Secret to Making an Instant Connection With Everyone You Meet

“We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.” -Diogenes Laërtius

Two months ago, I was in Munich missing a planefor paris.

Arriving minutes before the gate would close on me, panicking inside,I tried to remain calm while explaining the situation to a ticketing officer.I could not get a word in with this person whose jobwas to listen to me and solve my problem.Instead, Iwas only more frustrated and stuck in Munich without a solution.

For the sake of protecting the company’s brand, I won’t mention what airline it was, but it’s safe to say I won’t be flying with them again.

The most powerful way tocreate an instant connectionwith your friends, family, co-workers and everyone you will ever meet from this moment on is simple.Just shut up andlisten.

Hearing vs. listening.Thefew people who truly understand the art of listening have a huge competitive advantage in their personal and professional lives.Reflect on the conversations you have with your friends, co-workers, and partner(s).

Who’s doing most of the talking?If it’s you, then keep reading. If it’s not … then keep reading.

Studies show that less than 2 percentof professionals have had formal education on how to listen. 58003

“大多数人不是出于理解的意图而听的; 他们是出于回答的意图而听的。” - Stephen R. Covey

Information is power.Sinceinformation is a powerful competitive advantage, you're wise to spend your time acquiring more of it.We should be spending our time learning from others. Everyone has something they can teach us, no matter who they are or where they come from.

When is the last time you learned a valuable lesson by talking until your jaws cramped?For the appropriate breakdown of talking vs listening, I follow the 80/20 rule.When you’re on a date,in a meetingor attending a networking event,listen 80 percent of the time, talk 20 percent of the time.

Therule-of-thumb is, unless you haveearned the rightto share your thoughts, such as with your close friends, familyor a mentee, stop talking and listen.This is powerful for developing a strong relationship with everyone you meet.

Listen to be heard.We all want to heard. It’s a basic human need.

Have you met someone whoseemed to understood everything you said and made you feel like the only person in the room?They were simply nodding their head, reiterating what you had already saidand sharing a personal storythat seemed remarkably similar to yours.

probably fewer than 50 words came out of their mouth that entire conversation.Yet, you walked away with a heightened perception of that person’s intelligence, connectionand social skills because they genuinely cared.They asked questions that pushed you below the surface level of the everyday small talk. They shared asimilarityto you that caused an interpersonal attraction.

“A person only likes his friend to the degree he relates and connects to his character.” -Anuj Somany

I’m not saying all of this is easy but listening is an art that every aspiring leader needs to lead a tribe.While some may be impressed with how well youspeak, the people whoactually mattercare more how well youlisten.

Wherever you are, there will always be someone else that has lived more, led longer, prayed harder, or loved deeper.Open up your ears to the world, put yourself in the shoes of the person in front of youand, for goodness sakes, put away that damn Smartphone.

"Listen'' and "silent"have the same letters for a reason.

This article originally appeared inThe Growth List.